I was angry. In that moment, I decided to forego any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened. This man hadn’t considered any formalities when he assaulted me, and his lawyer didn’t hold back on my mom—why should I be polite? I’m told it was the most amount of times the word “ass” has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.

tangled up with you all night

I was really irritated by the whole serial-dater play that people tried to make about me. I just decided I wasn’t willing to provide them that kind of entertainment anymore. I wasn’t going to go out on dates and have them be allowed to take pictures and say whatever they wanted about our body language. I wasn’t going to sit next to somebody and flirt with them for five minutes, because I know the next day he’ll be rumored to be my boyfriend. I just kind of took the narrative back. It’s unfortunate I had to do that. And it’s unfortunate that now I have this feeling like if I were to open myself up to love, that would be a career weakness.

_{Maybe you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Maybe you lost yourself, that’s even worse. When you have bad days that just won’t let up, I just hope that you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are and what you are not. You are not your mistakes. You are not damaged goods or money from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger. And I now believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you Clean.}

Just think about writing in your diary every night. You would write something less revealing in it if I told you that someday that was going to be published as a memoir, right? Most of the songs I write never get released; they just help me get through whatever it is I’m going through at that time. So the songs that do end up on the album… I can’t stop to think about what the world’s going to do with them.

_{long live that look on your face}

I heard that you been out and about with some other girl